Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Serious holes and how we handle them


Workmen arrived today, out of the blue(!), to put in a water meter. They dug a huge hole just by our gate. While they were digging the hole, they managed to fracture the gas main to our house. So they rang the gas board, got someone to come, and before he arrived, the water workmen drove off, leaving a barrier round the hole half blocking the entrance to our house. The gas man mended the pipe, but the hole in the footpath was seriously big, and as it was open to the elements, with the gas main visible, I was concerned that it could get broken again, and we could even have a gas leak or an explosion! (yeah - I know - worst case scenarios don't often happen in real life!) Anyway, eventually, after several hours and numerous phone calls later, including comments to the water board about damage to county council highways (my husband works for the council), an emergency team arrived to temporarily fill the hole, until they can come and connect a water meter properly.

Reflecting on this, it occurred to me that 'holes' can appear in our lives too, leaving us damaged and exposed. The death of a loved one can tear holes in us, as can other major losses, which aren't always acknowledged by friends and colleagues. It seems to me that such 'holes' needs careful handling if we are to avoid an 'explosion' of emotion, of anger or anguish. But do we really want them just filled in? Isn't that just like putting a plaster on an unhealed wound, leaving it vulnerable to infection? Sometimes, that's all we can do. But perhaps, there needs to be a safety valve too. Exploding to God seems to me to be one very apt way of handling grief - the way of Job, perhaps. After all, God is big enough to take it! Having a trusted spiritual director, prayer partner, or close friend to 'vent' to can be hugely valuable. We ministers need such outlets too, for our grief.

I guess the worse thing I could have done today would have been to pretend there was no hole there.

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